Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel underappreciated. Sometimes I feel like I just want to leave and find a far away land where no one knows who I am. Sometimes I like to not wear pants. Sometimes I like to eat only chocolate. Sometimes I feel like crying for no reason in particular. Sometimes I feel really happy because of the littlest things, and its great. Sometimes I come up with the most brilliant ideas, but then when I try and act on them they just disappear and I feel like a fool. Sometimes those ideas work out. Sometimes I like to paint on bread. Sometimes I want to walk into my woods and explore them. Sometimes I get really scared. Sometimes I feel like no one really likes me. Sometimes I run out of things to say.

I Feel the Need

I feel the need to start writing again, to start reading Harry Potter again, to start taking pictures again, and to lose 20 pounds by summer. I'm quite looking forward to doing all of these things. I think I'll feel much better about life in general if I do them. Not that there's anything wrong with my life now, its actually quite good. I just can't express myself the way I used to, I dont get that connection with things the way I used to, and I dont really feel the way I used to.
I sort of blame these things on Irvin. I wish he'd never stepped into my life, that he'd never spoken to me, and that I hadn't been stupid enough to just date the first nice guy that was interested in me. I think he's the biggest mistake of my life, and since I've broken up with him I've just become closed off (secretly) and not myself. I miss me. I need to come back, from wherever I've gone.