Wednesday, December 29, 2010

hmph. what now?

Have you ever wanted something happen for a really long time, but then when it finally does happen, you wish that it hadn't? It didn't go at all how you expected, you didn't really enjoy it as much as you thought you would, and its just a big mess now?

Well. That happened to me. Of course. FUCK EVERYTHING.
Well. Not really. I think its kind of funny that it happened the way it did.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas (:
I got everything I wanted, and my family wasn't unbearably annoying. I think today was successful.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

Church makes me emotional, which is why I dont like going. It brings tears to my eyes that I cant explain. Strangely, though, I feel bad if I dont go on Christmas Eve and Easter. So tonight I got all dolled up and went to mass. Ergh. Glad I dont have to do that again until March..or April? whatever. A couple of months.

I'm so excited for tomorrow :D ...sort of. I just want my presents, but I dont want to spend time with my cousin and his son; they're annoying as fuck. Sorry, but this is my blog so I can say how I really feel. I wish I could just get my presents, give my parents their presents, and then just be done. I could do without all the eating, it just makes me feel fat.

Tuesday I have to go have Christmas with my unrelated family. I feel like they think I'm a spoiled bitch, so I dont like being around them either. We have nothing in common, nothing to talk about, and its just awkward while we're sitting there silently judging each other. I just like being with my 'grandma'; she's the sweetest, most adorable old lady, who I know truly loves me and my mom.

I feel like I should be watching a Christmas movie or something. Maybe I'll go do that, then wrap the gifts.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


I slightly miss being your friend, but I really dont miss all the drama, hurt feelings, and overall nonsense. Blah. Why do you have to miss me? Why do you have to talk to me? and make me miss how things once were? Why can't you just let it be? You move on and I move on. Why cant it be as simple as that? wahhhhhhhh.

On a lighter note, 4 days til Christmas :D

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Now I'm excited for christmas, and break. I'm so sick of school. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Monday, December 13, 2010

blech. blah. ergh. roar.

I hate being miserable for no reason. Not knowing why I'm constantly unhappy is considerably annoying, adding to my unpleasantness. Blech. Blah. Ergh. Roar.

I'm not even feeling very Christmassy either, which is kind of sad. I think it has to do with our lack of a proper tree. We have a decorated fruit tree, but its not the same as having a real Christmas tree that we've gone into the woods and cut down. My parents are getting on in years and my dads been sick, so getting and taking care of a tree really wouldn't work out.
Being practical sucks.

I just want to leave this place; Go to Italy and come back a little happier.