Friday, July 30, 2010


Going to an all day concert festival tomorrow and I am beyond excited :D the lineup is A Wake, Nine Round, Honor Bright, Hail the Villain, New Politics, Crash Kings, Smile Empty Soul, ADTR, Halestorm, All That Remains, Ed K, Hollywood Undead, Avenged Sevenfold, Flyleaf, and Limp Bizkit.
I'm most excited about seeing Crash Kings, they're so fucking amazing! ah! :D

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I could listen to Kate Nash all day. In fact, I think I will.
Her lyrics speak to me. Its like she's talking to me through her songs and it makes me feel connected and like someone else thinks the way I do. It's a nice feeling.
I just listened to Don't You Want to Share the Guilt and its one of my favorites. My favorite quote from it is "Sometimes when I'm at a really noisy train station One of the ones with the big, fat trains like Kings Cross I feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out Because I've got something to say"

Some of my other favorites are Take Me to A Higher Plane, Mansion Song, Foundations, Birds, Merry Happy, Pickpocket, Caroline's a Victim, We Get On, Pumpkin Soup, and Kiss that Grrrl. Yes I know I have a lot (:

Monday, July 26, 2010

ahhhhhh :P
summer is so boring but so great at the same time.
I keep going to bed and waking up late. I liked it at first but now I don't because I feel like when you wake up at noon your whole day is gone. I'm still in my pajammas as I write this at 3:30 in the afternoon. I feel disgusting. Ergh.

So last night I felt like a true fat ass when I found carmel all through my hair when I got home from my friends house. I had eaten a giant brownie covered in carmel and hot fudge. It was SO DELICIOUS. but I felt so fat. dear god. My unhealthy eating habits need to stop here. I'm determined to stay at or under my current weight.

aren't we the cutest? (: this is my best friend Karli. we've been best friends since kindergarten! :O
this picture was taken on one of our many walks around her neighborhood. I took it on my phone and it came out SO FRICKEN AWESOME! :D

taking pictures makes me happy. I want to start fiddling around with my new camera and tripod more often.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I love Harry Potter (: reading the books makes me genuinley happy, which I honestly cannot say about a lot of other things. Sadly. Oh well! I'll always have Harry Potter.

I really need a boyfriend. But then I want one that I actually like and who's reasonably attractive. I don't think its too much to ask. but whatever. I'm not too fussed about finding one.

So tomorrow (or technically later today) I'm going to a grad party and then going to my cousins house to get really drunk (: I'm excited. This sounds terrible and a lot of people are probably going to judge me but I love being drunk. When I'm sober I'm really shy and awkward but when I'm drunk I open up and don't feel awkward at all. Its just nice to not care what people think of you for a little bit. It's kind of an escape? Whatever you want to call it, I like it.

Monday, July 19, 2010

WTF?! haaaa. weird.

So yesterday was one of the weirdest days of my life. It started off pretty normal, I went to the Nationals car show at the local fair grounds with my parents and really good friend Spencer and we had a lot of fun. Those cars are amazing! I wish they made them just as cool now.
After we got dinner and went back to my house, me and Spencer decided to go up in the woods behind my house and wander for a while. There's around 12 acres up behind and around my house so it's fairly easy to get lost for a couple of hours, which of course we did, and in 90 degree weather. Luckily there's a stream that runs really close to my house and we ran into it eventually, but quite a ways up from my house. By this time we were hot and sweaty and the water in the stream was so appealingly cold. We stood there awkwardly for a few minutes deciding what to do. Did we want to take all our clothes off and go for a swim or just put our feet it? Did we want to go back to my house and sit in the air conditioning?
However, before I'd decided anything, Spencer was stripping off all his clothes and getting into the shallow water completely naked. Its not the first time I've seen it all out but it was just so bizarre, you know? Then he was just looking at me like "well?" I didn't know how to begin to respond to that! I was a little lost. But then I just said fuck it, I've known this kid my whole life, what's the big deal? I ended up taking off everything but my bra, sitting next to him in my stream on a bunch of rocks, surprisingly not caring that he could see everything. And he said he didn't care either. I think he might be a nudist one day. I have to say that it was actually kind of fun, but in the weirdest way possible. I'm glad that I have someone that I'm that comfortable around.
I think we sat in the water for around an hour, just sitting. We didn't say much, but it wasn't awkward. And I know you're all thinking "yeah ok, sure", but it really wasn't! I swear. Sometimes its nice to just sit with someone.

Then once it started getting dark we got out of the water and walked back to my house (fully clothed). Out of the woods it wasn't that dark, so we climbed up onto the roof of my garage and layed there, staring at the sky. We used to do that when we were little, too. We entertained ourselves by finding shapes in the clouds and agreeing that sitting naked in a stream was the weirdest thing we'd ever done, but that we wouldn't mind doing it again.

I like having these kinds of weird experiences because without them life would be so boring. Don't you think?

and please don't think I'm some weird nudist who walks around naked all the time. or that I'm a whore. we're best friends and always have been. I promise that I'm mostly normalish.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

just sleep

Today was my cousin's bridal shower and thankfully everyone had a lot of fun. I just didn't like that I had to wake up at 9 and help go get food :P I got lost in a giant grocery store! How does that happen?! I would manage to do that though haha oh well.
Everything was delicious. Especially the cake x) I love cake. So yummy.
Her friends were really cool too. One of them lives in Brooklyn and she was really interesting to talk to. She was one of those people that could find something to talk to with anyone and who was instantly your friend. I liked her. Then the rest of them were really loud and funny and really didn't give a shit what you thought about them. I love people like that.
Then the rest of my family is always entertaining. Mostly because they swear like truckers, chain smoke, are going deaf, and they love each other.
I love my cousin and her fiance. They're just the cutest thing because you can tell that they're in love.
Being around them all day made me a lot happier than I've been and I'm thankful for that. I need to stop being sad about stupid things that I can't take back. I need to just take a deep breath and go to sleep. I need to have a night where I sleep well. I haven't had one of those in a while.

Friday, July 16, 2010


So it was really cool seeing my ex-boyfriend at the beach yesterday. Not. God it was the most fucking awkward thing. Especially because we were in the water and you can't really walk fast when your in a lake. So I slowly made my way by him and awkwardly waved, hating my life in that moment. I would fucking see him. Funnily enough I'd been thinking about him the day before I saw him. Just thinking how much I hate myself for dating him, how stupid it was, seeing that I was never attracted to him. I just wanted a fucking boyfriend. Never again. Urgh. He is the stupidest mistake I've ever made. At least I learned from it. Is that the little bright spot in the mess that is him and I? I'm pretty sure it is.
Then later that day we were at the local field days (which I hate going to, but my friends live right down the street and they dragged me against my will) and I saw my old best friend from 7th grade, who hates me. It's pretty understandable why she hates me though. We won't get into how much of a bitch I am. Lets just say that I said some pretty mean things, but so did she. Whatever. She looks anorexic and her hair is too poofy for the rest of her. Her boyfriend also appears to have herpes on his mouth. I laughed. She gave me a dirty look (that I deserve). I feel bad for her. And I miss being friends with her because despite her creepy/oddness she's really cool.

Oh, then to top off my whole day when I showered that night I saw how burned my entire back and shoulders are. And the tip of my nose. I look like a mix of a lobster and Rudolph. cute right? no.

I know I'm just having a few days were I'm miserable. I know things will probably be a lot better next week. Hopefully even this weekend? My cousins bridal shower is tomorrow and then on Sunday I'm going to the Nationals with my parents and friend Spencer. We went last year and had a lot of fun so hopefully we will again. I tend to always have fun with Spencer though. Just because I have a sneeking suspicion that I secretly love him. ? idfk.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

its that time again!

Time for me to talk in circles again. It's 12:15 AM.
What shall I ramble about tonight?
Tonight I went to the mall with two of my good friends from school and it was great (: We laughed, tipped with sillybandz, and made general chaos (mostly in the form of dancing).
I love my friends. Well, most of them.

But then some days I really don't want to hang out with any of them. Is that weird? Sometimes they annoy the shit out of me or I just like being alone. When I'm alone I am free to zone out into my own little world, I don't have to pretend to care about whatever they're talking about, I can do whatever the fuck I feel like doing, and I can just be me. I don't really feel comfortable just being myself around most of my friends, which is kind of sad I guess. Honestly I'm only completely comfortable around three of my friends. Which to some may be a lot. Who knows. I don't. And I don't really care either. I've pretty much stopped caring about my friends petty dramas. I don't give a fuck about all the guys they talk to. I don't give a fuck about the stupid things they do. I don't give a fuck about their other friends. A lot of the times I just feel like telling them to shut up. I like being alone. I am a loner, and I am perfectly fine with that.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

whaaaa? hm. think about it.

What if gravity didn't exist?
I wouldn't want it to not exist completely, just because I'm scared of heights. And space doesn't have oxygen x(
But I suppose if your born into a world without it you wouldn't miss it. I think it'd be awesome, to an extent. After a while I'd probably get curious as to what it was like to stand on the ground. But then again right now I'm curious as to what it would be like to not have gravity. I'm talking in circles. I'm tired.

Summer bores me. It's far too hot to really do anything outdoors but indoors gets old after a while. There's only so many days that one can sit and watch TV or peek into others lives on facebook.

I need to get out.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Today I went to the wedding of the daughter of one of my mom's really good friends, and she also used to be my camp councelor way back in the day (her camp name was Blueberry). She's a lovely mix of hippie, good-natured, sarcastic, and sweet. Her new husband seemed very awkward and adorable, or in other words, perfect for her.
She was married on her mothers front steps here in our small little village and it was the perfect day for it. The sun was shining, there was a light breeze, it wasn't too hot, and all the flowers are in bloom. The only demise was that cars kept driving by, making it so that if you weren't standing right next to the minister you really couldn't hear what he was saying. But I guess that didn't matter, because Blueberry and her husband were the only ones that needed to.
What really made me love her new husband is that he walked down the aisle to the Star Wars theme song x) I'm not personally a big fan, but anyone who does that is fucking awesome in my book. Blueberry walked to 'What a Wonderful World' by Louis Armstrong, which was adorable. Then together they walked away to 'You and I' by Ingrid Michaelson, which happens to be one of my favorite songs.
The reception was actually really fun, considering I didn't really know anyone there apart from a few of my moms friends. The food was delicious, the favors were cute, and the newlyweds were happy. It was the perfect way to spend a summer afternoon (:

Thursday, July 8, 2010

your silhouette like some heavenly ghost...

I couldn't stand to be in that place
I was just about to leave, when I saw your face
You were laughing at me with your beautiful mouth
You said, 'You're looking miserable, do you want to get out?'

When you're only 18
And you got nothing to lose
And your living a dream
With the sand in your shoes
Falling in love is easy
It's easy to do

We fell in love with the windows rolled down
Chasing the sunset through another empty town
Your hair was a mess when you would dance on the coast
Your silhouette, like some heavenly ghost

When you're only 18
And you got nothing to lose
And your living a dream
With the sand in your shoes
Falling in love is easy
It's easy to do

Summer skies and warm colored sunsets
And a sunrise sneaking through my blinds
My demise, I just can't help it
It's suicide, looking in your pale blue eyes

Falling in love is easy to do
With the wind in your hair and the sand in your shoes
And though it may hurt to have your heart broken in two
That didn't stop me from falling for you

When you're dancing on the beach where the water meets your feet
And a cool ocean breeze is fighting the heat
Falling in love is easy
It's easy to do
It's easy to do
Oh I'm falling for you

Sand in Your Shoes by This Providence, the accoustic version, is currently my absolute favorite song. The lyrics just make me happy (: they represent how a good summer should be.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

:D yesssss.

The trip was very successful, I am happy to declare. My earplugs saved the day on the flights, the Harry Potter theme park was AMAZING, and the heat did not kill me (or my mother).

Why does everyone say that airports are such a hassle? At my local one we got through really quick and the Orlando one was just as fast! The whole experience wasn't bad at all! Both airports have good food, clean bathrooms, friendly staff, and airconditioning.
Speaking of airconditioning, I really don't know what I would have done without it. I'm sorry to everyone who loves Florida weather, but I personally despise it. It's hellish there! So humid and hot! Yuck! But then of course because karma is a bitch I come home to weather thats even worse x(

Flying is terrifying and amazing at the same time. Terrifying because I don't even know how the hell I'm staying up in the air and amazing because I'm staying up in the air and the views are spectacular.

Whoever built the Harry Potter theme park, let me just say that I love you. With all my heart. You constructed Hogwarts and Hogsmeade to perfection. It was like stepping through the screen and into the movies. ♥ I was in Harry Potter heaven. Words cannot describe how happy I was :D