So it was really cool seeing my ex-boyfriend at the beach yesterday. Not. God it was the most fucking awkward thing. Especially because we were in the water and you can't really walk fast when your in a lake. So I slowly made my way by him and awkwardly waved, hating my life in that moment. I would fucking see him. Funnily enough I'd been thinking about him the day before I saw him. Just thinking how much I hate myself for dating him, how stupid it was, seeing that I was never attracted to him. I just wanted a fucking boyfriend. Never again. Urgh. He is the stupidest mistake I've ever made. At least I learned from it. Is that the little bright spot in the mess that is him and I? I'm pretty sure it is.
Then later that day we were at the local field days (which I hate going to, but my friends live right down the street and they dragged me against my will) and I saw my old best friend from 7th grade, who hates me. It's pretty understandable why she hates me though. We won't get into how much of a bitch I am. Lets just say that I said some pretty mean things, but so did she. Whatever. She looks anorexic and her hair is too poofy for the rest of her. Her boyfriend also appears to have herpes on his mouth. I laughed. She gave me a dirty look (that I deserve). I feel bad for her. And I miss being friends with her because despite her creepy/oddness she's really cool.
Oh, then to top off my whole day when I showered that night I saw how burned my entire back and shoulders are. And the tip of my nose. I look like a mix of a lobster and Rudolph. cute right? no.
I know I'm just having a few days were I'm miserable. I know things will probably be a lot better next week. Hopefully even this weekend? My cousins bridal shower is tomorrow and then on Sunday I'm going to the Nationals with my parents and friend Spencer. We went last year and had a lot of fun so hopefully we will again. I tend to always have fun with Spencer though. Just because I have a sneeking suspicion that I secretly love him. ? idfk.